I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
