I wish I only lived at night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
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The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
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when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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