In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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