Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
