It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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