Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
