he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
