Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize