I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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