Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
