everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
