i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
