Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
