Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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