ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
