He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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