Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?

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(248): I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards? http://tfl.nu/3nve

Replies (2) Good night (630) Bad night (1095)
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(310): View more from California

your room smells of hookers.

(904): View more from Florida

And success

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(310): your room smells of hookers. (904): And success http://tfl.nu/jlzy

Replies (10) Good night (1902) Bad night (543)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?

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(610): So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues? http://tfl.nu/kfs7

Replies (16) Good night (1220) Bad night (3443)
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(+64): View more from New Zealand

apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.

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(+64): apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing. http://tfl.nu/xl08

Replies (36) Good night (4210) Bad night (618)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch

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(248): I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch http://tfl.nu/y65i

Replies (78) Good night (12546) Bad night (809)
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(734): View more from Michigan

Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.

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(734): Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month. http://tfl.nu/t4ti

Replies (14) Good night (4453) Bad night (747)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.

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(+44): I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk. http://tfl.nu/9idz

Replies (22) Good night (2995) Bad night (1078)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand

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(678): Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand http://tfl.nu/u3cn

Replies (5) Good night (857) Bad night (2321)
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(316): View more from Kansas

Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.

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(316): Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all. http://tfl.nu/i7x5

Replies (5) Good night (1119) Bad night (1154)
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(212): View more from New York

The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane

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(212): The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane http://tfl.nu/6wh0

Replies (7) Good night (2033) Bad night (910)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.

(1-978): View more from Massachusetts

I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.

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(978): I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest. (1-978): I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text. http://tfl.nu/56wf

Replies (4) Good night (1702) Bad night (648)
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(636): View more from Missouri

I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.

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(636): I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way. http://tfl.nu/f0qk

Replies (3) Good night (934) Bad night (515)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class

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(814): I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class http://tfl.nu/2lhx

Replies (7) Good night (1019) Bad night (368)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Are we in any of the areas with tornados?

(931): View more from Tennessee

Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.

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(520): Are we in any of the areas with tornados? (931): Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/dq1c

Replies (2) Good night (877) Bad night (293)
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(502): View more from Kentucky

If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.

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(502): If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it. http://tfl.nu/bxd5

Replies (0) Good night (354) Bad night (565)

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