Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We were destined to go to rehab together
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.