Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(603): View more from New Hampshire

The best revenge is premature balding

Fav 15 4116 1181
share tweet
(714): View more from California

why do cheetos always look like penises

Fav 41 3951 1624
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"

Fav 4 2992 1284
share tweet
(941): View more from Florida

Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.

Fav 9 4744 1336
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(480): View more from Arizona

Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.

Fav 2 1092 2056
share tweet
(440): View more from Ohio

I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.

Fav 9 2316 1166
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(414): View more from Wisconsin

i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.

Fav 2 1329 673
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.

Fav 6 1145 602
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.

Fav 0 39 7
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT