I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
