This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
