I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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