At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
