Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I need a burrito and a hug.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
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