i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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