if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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