you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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