I think im going to throw up on grandma
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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