Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this beer tastes like vomit already
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize