He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You smell like stripper and shame
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
