Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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