Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I am midnight drunk by noon
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
