I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
