Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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