fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
