My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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