if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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