where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
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You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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