No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I think my moral compass just broke
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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