No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
