Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Randomize
