While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
not ubering you a puppy
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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