its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
