remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
May the power of my ass compel you!!
i think i just lost a toe
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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