Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
