Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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