Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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