Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
