Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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