so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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