DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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