the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
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halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
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Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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