is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
