You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
