so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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