yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
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