He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
