Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
