i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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