I bet he comes in French.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many