last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
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Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
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just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat