I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session